zigzags & spirals

the job market

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:15:44 GMT

OK, so I just got a job offer ... it is within my salary range ... i'd I turn it down, but there is a huge issue with explaining it to unemployment ...

so here's the deal:

I only take 2 vacations a year ... and I always feel guilty I don't have the vacation to do anything at christmas ... this new place only offers 2 weeks of vacation ... and you are forced to use some it for a shut down week the week of July 4th ... that pretty much kills the second vacation and any possibilities for christmas, and there is fuzzy stuff about sick time ...

so, I am doing something I totally don't believe in ... I am taking the job and interviewing with the NC department of agriculture ... I might JOB-HOP for the first time in my life!!!

the thing is ... maybe I am willing to bend on this rule because this is the first time in my life I have ever really cared about my time off ... with David (my ex-fiance), well, he was so bad with money that vacations were out of the question ... with Chris (the big EX), vacation time was usually to do a higher level of house cleaning ...

let's face it ... before age 25, everything was just learning ... I pretty much can only say I am on my third adult relationship ... and he is amazing ...

Eric is the first person I have ever been with who wants to enjoy life with me ...

I know I have bitched about the way things started with us .... and he is abrupt, so I need to vent when I get my feelings hurt - which happens most often when I am in some state of physical or emotional fatigue or distress ...

but he is such an awesome man ...

he is the first man i have ever been with for over a year and not fantasized about anything else when we are "together" ... he IS my fantasy ...

any ways ... the point is that my time off is for "us" ... and I kind of resent a company that would take that away from me ...

well, I hope I am not screwing myself by being open to this interview ...

wish me luck!!!

...

ps - did i mention that state employees get 20% off tuition for NC state (or something close to that based on the tuition differences I have seen) ... grad school, here I COME!!!!

peaceful mood

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:48:30 GMT

I know I'm not around much lately ... a lot has been happening ... everything with Eric has changed, I didn't know this, but he hadn't quite decided to be my boyfriend, so every time I asked for that emotional respect for him, we ended up with problems, but he has made that decision, now, and I am working on moving in with him ... he is an incredible man ... intelligent, artistic, creative, supportive, passionate, hard working, self-reliant, totally dependable ... and he and I both need our emotional reset time, so we are practically perfect for each other!!!

I have become the creative chef and he continually encourages me ... I have come with some great recipes and only recognize them because of him ... he even bought me Calphalon knives and Meyer Gourmet pots and pans for Christmas ... he jokes that I have such a terrible hobby, he gets extensively created meals at least twice a week - "oh, the horror!"

I got laid-off from my job, too ... 3 out of 11 were given notice ... so, it's not like I didn't know it was coming ... it was a good thing, I was out of place and really unhappy ... I haven't danced around and sung around the house being silly for a while ... and it happened the other night ... and it even happened at Eric's ... and he was home!!! I knew I was unhappy at work, but - WOW!

Anyways ... I need to hit they hay ... just thought I would leave everyone with the song stuck in my head for the evening ... at least stuck until I turn on the cello music!!

have a great evening!!!!

ALISON KRAUSS LYRICS

"Let Me Touch You For Awhile"

It's been a long time coming,
As you shed a lonesome tear.
And now you're in a wonderama,
I wonder what you're doin' here.

The flame no longer flickers,
You're feeling just like a fool.
You keep starin' into your liquor,
Wonderin' what to do.

I don't hardly know you,
But I'd be willin' to show you,
A way to make you smile!
Let me touch you for awhile.

I'm gonna ruin my black mascara.
You're drinkin whiskey when it should be wine.
You keep a-lookin' into that mirror.
But to me you're lookin' really fine.

I don't hardly know you,
But I'd be willin' to show you,
I know a way to make you,
Laugh at that cowgirl as she's walkin' out your door.
I know a way to make you smile.

Just let me whisper things,
You've never heard before.
Just let me touch you, baby.
Just let me touch you for awhile.

I don't hardly know you,
But I'd be willin' to show you,
I know a way to make you smile.

It's been a long time,
Let me touch you for awhile.

Christmas rules to live by

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 04:48:59 GMT

HOLIDAY EATING IMPERATIVES

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls!!!

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly! It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO what a ride!"

kitty tales continue

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 04:01:19 GMT

So the weather has been awesome, right???

I came home Sunday to a broken computer and a stuffy apartment, so I opened the porch door, turned on the stereo and retired to the office computer for a little investigational surfing ...

for those of you who don't know me well, when I am trying to figure something out or am extremely focused, well, I am extremely focused ... I miss jokes, tune things out ... totally miss what is going on in the peripherals ... it's all about the object of interest ... granted, there is a 3 hour maximum before i get antsy ... but still ... I am oblivious for a while ...

with that in mind ... my investigational-surfing of problem trends with my particular mother board and error codes on the internet forums led me to this state ... and this is when the kitty struck ... I had given her an opening to penetrate my stronghold ...

as I sat helplessly engrossed in my computer research, she daintily wove through the wrought-iron railing that encompasses my porch and slunk into my living room ... I can only assume I was her primary target as her stealthy paws allowed her to infiltrate my tiny office and situate herself 2 feet behind my chair ...

at this point a friendly house-cat would move under the chair and begin weaving herself around my ankles to show her desire for attention ... not this cat

no ... she chooses this moment to emanate an 85 decibel "meow" that causes the same reaction as a monster or psychotic jumping in front of the main character in a horror flick ...

for those of you who need it spelled out, or just have yet to watch a horror flick with me ... I jumped and screamed simulaneously ...

the result: a streak of brown and black fur tearing back through the unfamiliar apartment in a manner not unlike Matthew Perry falling behind the couch and then hiding behind a lamp in "The Whole Nine Yards" ...

I tried to follow her and coax and calm her so she would at least stop running, but the most I got was a pause followed by an anxious (or possibly annoyed) glance back in my direction ... well, what the hell did she expect??? she scared the piss outta me ... so she got scared (though inadvertently), herself ...

The best part?? even though I should be on her shit list after that ... she still snuck in while I had the front door open to unload groceries a couple days later ... so I snuck behind her and closed it ... forcing her to find the open back door if she wanted out ...

not the most evil thing I have ever done ... but it was still rather amusing ...

let's see if she still comes back ... I guess I should buy her some kitty treats if I intend to use her as my entertainment like this ...

hahahaha, I'm so much cooler "online"

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:14:47 GMT

I was driving back to work and heard this ... thought it was too funny not to share!

LOL

(I know, I know ... I'll do some "real" posting soon!)

Artist: Paisley Brad
Song: Online
Album: 5th Gear

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online

the cricket killer

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 16:48:31 GMT

too cute ...

so there is this cat at my apartment complex that is always hanging around my breezeway ... he has a collar, but I haven't looked to see where he returns to every day for his food ... I am also pretty sure he is one of the 2 culprits putting muddy kitty-prints all over my car …

i always talk to and meow at him whenever I see him, just to see him look at me with that funny, cock-headed expression that cats are so good at … and he acts like he wants to run away but always stops after 2 steps and watches me ... I swear his usual sunning spot has been picked so he can wait for me to get home and make faces at me ...

anyways ... I go home for lunch today and I am heating up some food and I hear all this really loud meowing – damn-near sounds like it is inside my apartment! ... I open my door and this cat is there ... he looks at me as if to say “finally!” and then takes a soft and somewhat assured step as if he is coming inside my apartment ... I just kinda watch him out of curiosity, but I really don't want him to come in - I am allergic to cats and I don't want to piss-off his owner ...

as I watch him ponder this momentous decision, I notice there is a cricket right outside my front door next to him... It is just facing the doorway and kinda twitching its antennae back and forth - not very stealthy or smart, mind you, considering the natural cricket-predator next to it ... he doesn't seem to be harmed or missing any creep-crunchy appendages ... so I turn my attention back to the cat who is still just standing there with one furry black/brown/ paw inside my door ... I finally say "sorry, bud" with a little smirk and close the door making a mental note to get some catnip ...

I turn back to making lunch and the impossibly loud the meowing resumes … I can even here it over my radio in the living room and the microwave I am standing in front of ... I eat my tasty chili at the 'puter while I check my email and am relieved this room is far enough away to muffle the persistent cat-talk ... I kinda feel guilty … I hope he’s not too hot or something, but he looked well enough to not worry for long …

I decide it is time to go back to work and notice a pleasant silence has befallen my front door and wonder if he lying outside silently as he often does or if he has actually left ... i gather my things and open the door ... yes, mr kitty has tired of the oh-so-unique view my closed apartment door has to offer (you know, b/c it's not like every apartment has one like it) and taken his leave for the time being ...

as I am locking the door I look down to find the cricket still there and still pointed towards my door ... the only difference is that he is now on his back and it’s his hind legs that are twitching instead of his antennae ... as I look I notice the legs are moving in a much more lethargic manner than the little twigs on his head were … I wonder if the kitty knew I was home for lunch and was trying to feed me … leaving the cricket just alive enough so that it would be what a cat considers a nice fresh meal if I had finished the job in response the incessant meows …

I snicker and shrug and decide I will clean it up when I get home if it is still there (creeeeeeepyyyyy!) ...

Mean ol’ cat … why do they always take their time with such things … he could be a nice murderer and kill it quickly, couldn’t he ???

I snicker and shrug and decide I will clean it up when I get home if it is still there …

I feel like little miss muffet!

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 11:36:38 GMT

Dude! ... I've been at work since 6 this morning and walked between the cubes I-don't-know-how-many-times, and just now on my way back from the ladies room I just about walk into this HUGE ugly spider dangling from the ceiling!!

WTF, doesn't he know that this is a place of business and scaring people is not nice???

lol

j/k

still pretty creepy ...

a couple of "men" I work with are terrified of spiders ... it was sooo tempting to try and trick them into walking that way, buuuuuut ... I decided it wouldn't be very nice ... besides, I am still sleepy, even after an hour and a half ...

I should go see if the cafeteria is open yet ... mmmmmmmmmm ... baaaaaaaaacoooooooon ....

Update - lower back - anatomy lesson

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:49:44 GMT

So I was trying to find the diagram my doctor showed me, but no luck ...

I am now referred to see the neurologist for the following:
1 - paralytic neuropathy of my left leg
2 - a degenerative partial annular tear between L5 & S1 (the disk between the vertebra that separate the lumbar from the sacrum)
3 - nerve pain in my SI joints ...

I am also to call my spine therapist and get the name of the pelvic specialist he was going to refer me to ...

Apparently the tear in my disk is one of the only kinds that WON'T heal itself no matter how good you are to it, but they are hoping with PT I can prevent it from getting worse - unless, of course I have degenerative disk disease like my sister does ... then I am pretty screwed and they should start fusing vertebra ASAP ...

Anyways, here are some diagrams - consider this your anatomy lesson for the day - don't you feel smarter now????

ever just feel spunky???

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 04:12:05 GMT

I'm not running on a lot of sleep and I was dragging ass, bigtime, this morning!

but for some reason i pulled myself out of it ... went swimming ... chatted with a few friends on yahoo, and quite frankly - I feel like I should be out on the town making life difficult for guys who use lame or compartmentalized pick-up lines ...

you know ... the kind of response a woman makes knowing EXACTLY what the line is going for and instead pull some random contradiction to the game out of my ass just to watch the guy squirrn ... don't get me wrong, I would not do this to the timid guys who are trying to get their confidence up, or the quiet sincere guys (but neither of them use those lines anyways) ... just to the cocky SOB's that for some strange reason think they can have any woman in the room ...

I just feel like dancing through the apartment - oh, ya ... I just did! hahahahaha

I want to try something new ... a new restaurant/ new kind of food, try a new club, meet new people, maybe even try a new sport ...

I want to laugh out loud and jump around and show the world I am alive!! --- hee hee and it's supposed to be bedtime!! LOL

anyways, that's the kind of mood I'm in!

and here is tonight's song!!

Artist/Band: Patty Loveless
Lyrics for Song: That's The Kind Of Mood I'm In
Lyrics for Album: Strong Heart

Tell ya what we're in a rut,
We're in a deep rut.
So habitual, predictable,
I'll tell ya what we ought to do.

We ought to drive away, fly away,
Find a way to get away.
We need a break from the same old thing of nothin' new.

Want to go out on a limb, on a whim, yeah.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.

Let's go somewhere, nowhere we've heard of.
Hang the sign out, Do Not Disturb Us!
Get a wake-up call about 3pm.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.
A little shake-up,
Take the chain and rattle it
Try to catch the wind and saddle it
Fall in love all over again, yeah.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.

I'll tell you this,
I want a kiss,
I want a long kiss.
The kind of deep,
That moves the ground,
Thing you used to do to me.
I want to dance a little, dream a little,
Baby, just live a little.
Make my heart rate elevate
Bring it up a few degrees.

Get me goin' with the wind, now and then, yeah.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.

Let's go somewhere, nowhere we've heard of.
Hang the sign out, Do Not Disturb Us!
Get a wake-up call about 3pm.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.
A little shake-up,
Take the chain and rattle it
Try to catch the wind and saddle it
Fall in love all over again, yeah.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.

Any hemisphere,
Change Of Atmosphere
Get me out of here right now!
Let's go somewhere, nowhere we've heard of.
Hang the sign out, Do Not Disturb Us!
Get a wake-up call about 3pm.
That's the kind of mood I'm in.
A little shake-up,
Take the chain and rattle it
Try to catch the wind and saddle it
Fall in love all over again, yeah.

That's the kind of mood I'm in.
Oh, that's the kind of mood I'm in.

Restaurant coupon list

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 01:46:28 GMT

okeedokee!! - for anyone I eat out with regularly, here are my current coupons and such - contains a few places we haven't been and thought would be neat to try ... just so you are "up" on what i have in my little grab-bag ...

z-spotlight:
----Durham----
-George's Garage (9th Street - Durham) - $50
-Asuka (Morrisville/RTP) - $25
- Greek Fiesta (Brier Creek) - $20
----Raleigh----
- (2) Playmaker's - $25
- (1) Hi5/Bogart's/Redroom/MashHouse/Michael Dean's/Twisted Fork/1705 Prime - $20
- (2) Hi5/Bogart's/Redroom/MashHouse/Michael Dean's/Twisted Fork/1705 Prime - $25
- Tokyo House - $25 - expires Sep 5th
- (4) Prime Only - $50
- (2) El Rodeo - free dinner (10 visit cards)
- Hard Times Cafe - $20

----I Also have the "PM Card" ---- http://www.thepmcard.com/
---- it is apparently growing and you can get free covers, 20% off your meal and drinks at The Point, etc.

restaurant.com:
-----Durham & Chapel Hill ----
-Taverena Nikos (Brughtleaf Square - Durham) - $25 - valid after 5pm on $35 or more
-The Galeria (RTP) - $25 - minimum $35 food
-Bocci Trattoria & Pizzaria (Fayetteville Rd - Durham) - $25 - minimum $35 food
-Margaret's Cantina (Chapel HIll) - $25 - after 5pm Sun-Thurs - minimum $35 food
-Sal's Ristorante (Franklin Street - Chapel Hill) - $10 - minimum $20
-G-Loft (9th Street - Durham) - $25 - minimum $35 food/2 entrees
-A Taste of the Caribbean (Fayetteville St. - Durham) - $25 - minimum $35 food/2 or more people
-Bennett Pointe Grill & Bar (Hillsborough Rd - Durham) - $25 - minimum $35/2 entrees
----Raleigh----
- (3) Underground Restaurant and Bar - $25 - $35 minimum food
-Crabtree Grill at the Mariott - $25 - $35 minimum dinner
-The Point - $25 - minimum $35 food
- (2) Rey's Restaurant - $25 - minimum food $35/2 or more people
-Rey's Restaurant - $50 - minimum food $100
-Solomon's Mediterranean Restaurant - $25 - minimum $50 Sun-Thurs.
-Tir Na Nog - $25 - minimum $35 food
-Ledo's Pizza - 50% off - no alcohol - 2-6 people
-The Gourmet Factory - $25 - minimum $35 food/2 entrees
-The Roast Grill - $10 - minimum $20 food

Thought these were great!!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 15:47:08 GMT

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Joke of the day ...

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 15:43:10 GMT

OK, so it was a joke i sent out a week or ago, but still thought I should share here as well!

Bar Sign

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which
read:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar
and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving
drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am."

The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

walking/jogging

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 14:44:09 GMT

So I am not a runner - never have been ... but lately i am determined to get my activity level and energy level back up to where it used to be ... but, dag-nabbit! - I just don't have the motivation to do it at the gym like i used to ... even the kick-boxing video has gotten old - maybe b/c it is only 20 mins (15 if you take out warm-ups and warm downs) and i want a minimum of 40 ... anyways, so I was doing a lot of walking, especially after meals ... dinner in particular is a good time b/c it tends to be when we eat the most and do the least, our metabolisms already slow down a couple hours before bed ... and since i don't do the sit-com thing, I really have no excuses, now, do I????

walking is great and with the ipod eric got me for christmas i can go for pretty long periods of time ... but i am really not feeling like i am getting much done ... boredom again ... so i started trying to jog a little - tried this a couple months ago ... did it about 5 times over 2 weeks, just jogging as much of the way as I could force myself to ... then my ankles and everything up to the small of my back wanted to disown me! so I stopped ... been swimming a lot more ... well, w/o motivation to go the gym, I decided to try jogging again the last week ... not going too bad ... the swimming has helped my endurance a lot, too ...

so here is the kicker ... I was annoyed at myself for not working out much on Sunday - or doing much of anything else productive for that matter ... then I skipped the lifting after work ... so after dinner I went out - completely determined to not come home for an hour!! I walked 0.25 miles, then jogged 0.25 miles ... did this the WHOLE WAY!!!! like 5miles!! I am so happy with myself!!! I want to keep this up, but i do believe i will have to buy some better jogging clothes ... I need better pockets for the house-key, a knife, and something for the ipod ...

all in good time, but i thought this was a great start!!!

happy working out everyone!!!

more crazy karoke fun

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 14:11:01 GMT

So we hit Playmakers again ... we always have so much fun there ...

It wasn't as packed as it has been ... for the last 2 months we've only stayed for about an hour or left b/c it was crammed fuller than Dolly Parton's bra or the line for singing was soooooo long that there was really no point - by the time our names would have gotten called we would be too drunk and laughing too loud to hear it ... so we'd just pop off to Jackpot or go shoot darts or something instead ...

not the case Friday night ... and even better??? almost half the people singing were drunk and out to have a balst of their own ... our fav was a couple goofy guys that got up and sang "500 miles" ... they had it down!! their voices weren't great, but they had a switch off for words and lines and jumping around stage all figured out - it was AWESOME!!!

I sang "Sold (The Grundy County Auction)" and our friend Jeremy sang "Mony, mony" ... then like 8 of us got up and sang "Summer Nights" ... just another great night for the karaoke diaries!!!

I'll attach some pictures later when i get home and get them shrunk a little ...

until next time: grab your hair brush and be sure to practice in the mirror!!!!!!

I am currently trying to learn "You Give me Fever" ... wanna try for something a little sexier for the near future!!! lol

b-day celebration!!

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 04:25:17 GMT

OK, this was probably my best b-day EVER!!!

We met at a local restaurant/night club and shot pool while we waited for everyone to arrive ...

then we went to one of our favorite crawling grounds and had a total freaking blast dancing!!!

Here are some pictures - it was just fun all around!!!

Em & Jer drove me and took me for snoopy fries afterwards ... they really went out of their way to make it awesome - I owe them BIGTIME!!!

and for anyone who knows who Eric is and noticed he is in some of the pics: we aren't back together ... he just came out to celebrate and buy me several jager shots ... ah, yes, jager - essential to any good night out!!!

relief

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:33:37 GMT

So I was scheduled for an EMG yesterday ... i have been dreading it all week - I HATE needles!!!

well, since the dr administering the test was also a neurologist, he was able to check me out and determine what we were dealing with without the full spectrum of tests - ie - we didn't have to use the needles!! - YAY!!!

He still did some tests and shocked the crap out of me for about an hour and my leg looked like it had been attacked by a gaggle of sharpie-wielding 5-yr-olds, but hey, a little rubbing alcohol took care of that!!

:-)

I'll post the full diagnosis after the MRI on Aug 1, though I do know I need some more PT - anyone know a good physical therapist in the raleigh area??? I know of 2 - 1 is just for spines, the other's asked me out, and I want to keep the latter option open in case I want to, am ready to (if possible to be ready int he near future), say "yes" - hee hee :P

oh!, and the doc was canadian ... first time i have ever had a conversation with someone from Canada - OMG! - I had heard clips on tv and stuff, but damn! he actually DID say "ay" at the end of each and every sentence!! hahahahaha - that was entertaining, too ... :)

Dinner party

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:23:56 GMT

I had a dinner and happy hour party Weds - It was a total success!!!!

I am so excited ... I'll post the menu and some of the pics this weekend, have to get back to work for now!!

lol

___

OK, so here is the update:

I cooked alfredo sauce from scratch, my doctored marinara, twice cooked seasoned chicken to be used in either sauce or plain, italian seasoned beef to be used in either sauce, pasta, and fried rice ...

There were NO leftovers, and several disappointed folks to that matter!!

Here are the updated pictures!!

My Birthday

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:16:49 GMT

So my friends totally kick ass!

Em & Jer came out to Prime Only and bought me a steak dinner AND a digital camera!!!

I totally wasn't expecting to get anything that nice!!

We had a great time just sitting and talking ... I have to admit I had quite the buzz on ... there was a group of business men there that congragated around me as I was trying to just chill out and read a bit beore my friends showed ... they ended up buying me drinks and providing quite the barrel-full of entertainment!!

Then another guy came along meet his cecilian friend ... kept asking if anyone owed me money or if anyone had broken my heart ... I told him about the contractor I had taken to small claims court who hadn't finished paying me ... he pushed the romantic hurt side ... so I told him i had just broken up with someone, but that we were on good terms ... he starts telling me his friend can have a few friends visit him him ... I was like "noooo!!!" (laughing) "really, we tlaked for like an hour and a half last night - we really ARE on good terms!!!" (more laughter) ...

What a fun evening!!!

I'll have to post a pic of the camera soon ...

:)

wow ... he's not cute, but i love his philosophy ...

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 22:42:02 GMT

this is what i want my man to know when i tell him i love him ... and can you believe??? a MAN wrote it!!!!

"...lets just say that there is no better feeling than a woman's love, admiration, and respect. Who compares to a woman who chooses you over all other men? Who compares to a woman who time after time, without fail, chooses YOU, though she is in no lack of beauty and charms and therefore receives many proposals from men to which you seemingly pale, but not to her ... a woman who tallies up not your failures but sees only your success. i say that she is your only true success!"

DAMN

t-shirt

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 19:00:18 GMT

HAHAHAHA

for those of you not familiar with Despair.com, it has all sorts of satirical demotivators and things to make you laugh ...

I love this T-shirt!! (I should, I am a chemist! OK, ya, and, well, a total DORK!!!)

This one is funny, too

Dancing in my Room

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 02:24:48 GMT

YAY!!!

working out is paying off so well!!! and a few other "things!" hahahaha

I have ENERGY again!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, it has been a long time since I did this ... I spent all day cleaning and tidying up at a leisurely pace, nibbled on tiny amounts of food all day so i never got real full or bloated, then had a glass of wine and put music on and just been dancing around the apartment all sassy and confident!!!

I feel like a sexy, attractive, energetic million bucks!!!

And I have so many fun things planned!!! I am so starting to feel like me again and a free spirit!!

I have felt like a puppy waiting to be let out of it's cage on an only slightly predictable schedule for the last couple months, so this feeling of freedom is AMAZING!!!

Also helped that I had a really hot guy that wouldn't leave me alone last night. He was with 2 other hot guys and I wing-chicked them into the evening for a single friend ... one guy passed out, she didn't like the other, and the "ring-leader" just couldn't stop doting on me ... I got the whole thing; from being told I was beautiful and amazing and fun to "holy-fucking-shit you look freaking AMAZING for your age!!!!!!!" ... hahahaha ... he wouldn't even guess higher than three years younger than I am!!!

After I told him I was seeing someone, you would have thought he would have left me alone and gone to find a single chick, but all he wanted to do was be near me ... he kept trying to put his arm around me and hold me hand, and no matter how many times I turned him down he wouldn't go away ... such an EGO boost!!!!!!

of course when my guy called and my friend mentioned I hadn't heard from him in over 2 days ... yes, he freaking ditched me for the entire weekend, no calls, no lunch, no response to my email, not even 2 minutes to something, anything to let me know he remembered I existed ... the only reason he had called THAT night was b/c my friend had called him looking for me when we got separated for a while and i wasn't answering my phone ... anyways, I digress, the hot young guy probably thought he had a chance @ this point ... "what girl puts up with her guy totally avoiding her like that?? out of sight, out of mind ... as beautiful and fun as I was, how could I possibly put up with that" ... this was his thinking ... I know b/c he told me so before I left for the evening with my friend ...

wow!!! I haven't been complimented so much in a while!!! I was grinning from ear to ear all night ... he got a little drunker and I got uncomfortable b/c he kept "forgetting" that I wouldn't dance with him b/c I refused to disrespect my bf ... heh, I was a dumbass, though, let him use my phone to call the guy my friend DID like .... so he got my number!!! OOOPS!!!! hahahaha, and he has even called and texted several times and asked me out - hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this guy should TOTALLY give lessons!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ha ha ha ... I just took a break from this post and danced across the apartment and back just to use the toilet!!! I used to do this all the time last summer and beginning of the fall!!! I can't believe I let myself go like that!! The only time I have felt like this recently has been when I go visit Paravati ... I can't wait until I come down in a couple weeks, girl!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahah, I used to do karaoke at night, too!!!

anyways ... I need to get stuff done and go to bed!

g'night all!!!!

of course I am listening to Pink and have even more attitude () to add to my stores of energy tonight!!

hahahahaha

tonight's song - 1

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:22:13 GMT

Lorrie Morgan

Lyrics for Song: Out Of Your Shoes
Lyrics for Album: Leave The Light On

You borrowed my favorite dress
I borrowed your best perfume
We're looking good I guess
We've turned every head in the room
But the best thing I've ever seen
Is looking at you
And girl I'd give anything
To be in your shoes

'Cause I'd love to be out of your shoes tonight
To be the one turnin' him on
When he turns out the light
Under your skin
Lyin' with him
When he holds you tight

He'll buy you some fine champagne
And say things I'd love to hear
My loss will be your gain
And the rest of the picture is clear
I see him taking you home
And closing the door
And I see my favorite dress fall to the floor

I'd love to be out of your shoes tonight
To be the one turnin' him on
When he turns out the light
Under your skin
Lyin' with him
When he holds you tight
I'd love to be out of your shoes tonight
I'd love to be out of your shoes tonight

penpal letter 2 ... just the responses ...

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:33:09 GMT

Hey, sorry for the delay, I was pondering what to write ... and working a shit-ton of hours!!

So, some random blurbs about me as a person ... ok, this should be interesting ... please don't look for a pattern to the flow or common threads ... you will just give yourself a headache!!!

so let's start with some activities ... I love the water and swimming ... I swam today, for 45 mins straight, just kept it nice and easy, kept switching strokes to give parts of my body a rest ... when i am done, there are a few joints aching, a few injury and surgery sites absolutely killing me and just bitching to high-heaven, there is general muscle fatigue, and if I hold my hand out, it trembles ... I am close to total exhaustion, and it feels great b/c of the way I did it ... if you have ever had sex for over an hour, you probably felt this way, except I feel a little more cleansed b/c of the chlorine and lack of sweat ... just totally exhausted and relaxed at the same time ... ok ... pause to think about my BF for a few ... hee hee hee ...

I love shooting pool and shooting darts ... my aunt taught me, she is the closest thin I have to a mom ... I used to be a lot better, for now I am beginner-average to mediocre depending on my recent practice and alcohol content!! lol

speaking of alcohol ... I love wine ... I either abstain or have a few high-ball fall-backs to keep me occupied if wine is not available ... unfortunately, wine hits me like a cement truck, so if I am out for a long night, I usually rely on the mixed drinks b/c 3 glasses of wine in less than 2 hours will put me on my ass for the most part ... anymore and I am just DONE ...

so, I mentioned my aunt being a "mom" ... I feel OK bringing this up sooner b/c of your own mother's death ... my mother died from breast cancer when I was 14 ... also, for me, she was the best person I ever knew ... the best human being ... I loved her so much ... I always wanted to please her, always and still want to BE her ... manged to really hurt and disappoint her a few times, and those times still play over and over in my head, ya, well, trauma ... the same as my father ... he committed suicide when i was 12 ... I had started seeing a shrink for my eating issues (hahahhahaahahahhhahahahahahahahaahhahaahah - stupid MF who think the US is so advanced he probably still can't see Celiac's Disease ... dumbass) ... and had an ingrown toenail removed a couple weeks before "this" ... can you imagine being my mom ... she has this child (me) - always sick & weak & malnourished -- who is scared to death of food and freaking cries for hours if you try to make her eat certain foods ... you finally get the child somewhat healthy, for unknown reasons, and then your husband goes and shoots himself after declaring that your children aren't HIS while he throws you against a wall in the first act of violence towards you that you have ever seen ... then, he takes the .22 out of the closet and shoots himself in the head while she was frantically trying to get her children out of the house (I know this b/c I saw it, I walked into the room when I head his erratic breathing ... talk about an image burned into your mind ... your father on the floor and all the blood on the walls ... this only a week after she had to have a lump in your breast examined ... this isn't pitty for me ... this is just a "this is my mom" ... "Holy Hell, what she went through to make sure my sister and I were OK" ... "ever watched tumors ulcerate through skin - not pretty ...

an amazing woman ... I wouldn't be who I am w/o her ... I still TOTALLY cater to whomever I date more than I should - I am working on this ... I just remember her always ... I want to be as good as her ... the most compassion ... someone you trust ... someone good ... everyone LOVED her ... it was AMAZING ...

anyways ... my sleeping pill is kicking in and I will try to write again soon ... ya ... "me" ... wow, what a thick volume ...

ps - I cuss a lot ... just expect it to get worse as I get to know you ... :-)

penpal letters

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 02:38:31 GMT

so, I have a new penpal. he's not out of state, so I feel guilty for focusing on his letters than my 2 in puerto rico and costa rica ... I am really hoping to work on my spanish, but these are very interesting b/c of the questions being asked.

i am not real comfortable just putting my thoughts out for the public, so I thought these would be a good start, heck, he is a total stranger ... anyone who knows me might gain insight form this stuff ... kinda have a no-holds-barred approach to these emails, so I am hoping this is an honest "me" ...

:-)

first informative email with questions underlined and answers in bold, additional thoughts in italics:

Are you submissive, sexually? (ya, I know, what a question!!!)
My natural inclination is towards submission, though I am trying to learn assertion - I lack it to a point that I am hesitant to make suggestions and point out what I like and what stimulates me, even as a submissive. I want to improve on this for "personal" reasons, if you get my drift ...
Age? height, weight?
31, 5'6", 113lbs (some lady in VA a week ago told me she thought i was 19, almost always get guessed as 23-25)
Are you from NC?
Originally from FL, went to High Point University, then moved to the Raleigh-Durham area when I graduated
How long have you been with your bf?
We have been dating since the beginning of September, though there were 2 two-week periods where we broke up due to various issues - long stories
Are you a very sexual person?
I have a very high sex drive, I love looking and feeling sexy, too ... my last three serious relationships have all gotten the same complaint from me - not enough sex, and if my guy tells me I am beautiful, or that I look especially nice/hot, that turns me on even more - and gives me all sorts of feel-good-warm-fuzzies
I am very passionate, love to kiss....do you like to kiss?
depends on the mood I am in and how the other person kisses - tons and tons of little pecks all the time and all over the place when I can (like kissing my bf's back and neck and shoulders last night while I was giving him a backscratch while we watched a movie); I like passionate (not tongue-flipping/dueling) kissing when making love and sometimes as random "I love being with you" and "you turn me on" messages
Do you have long hair or short hair?
I have wavy/curly brown hair down to about the bottom of my shoulder blades
Do you like the beach? I typically go about 12 times a year.
I love the beach - grew up in FL ... don't always miss it, but when I am there, I remember how much I love it
When was the last time you really, exceptionally looked forward to something?
two weeks ago when I looked forward to going to Atlanta to visit one of my really close girlfriends - usually I look forward to every time I see my guy, but lately I have been terrified I will do/say something stupid, so that anxiety has been taming my usual excitement with tons of logic & overthinking - I think it will get easier once we hang out a couple of times w/o focusing on what has happened lately
Are you more comfortable at home on the couch watching a good movie....or a night on the town?
I can do both - I could never survive on only one or the other, though - I need balance and a social life
Do you drink beer? Hey, its a perfectly good question, considering I am just a good ole boy, lol. If so, draught or bottle?
I have major digestive issues with beer, so I have never been able to acquire the tolerance for hops and such - I tend to focus on wine and vodka-tonics and the occasional lemon-drop or jager-shot
Favorite food?
hmmmm ... that's a toughie - I love a good, properly-cooked filet; I have recently acquired a taste for Thai food (usually yellow curry with chicken or beef Thai spicy basil); I have a thing for the authentic Mexican restaurants, partly b/c they make their own sauces and stuff - not as processed - and, of course, it is spicy!; last but not least, we have my friend, the french fry -- snoopy's seasoned fries and Mc'yD's fries are at the top of my list - I love french fries, just ask anyone who knows me! LOL ... I also enjoy a good BLT - bacon so crisp it crumbles, extra thin slices of tomato, and a little lettuce - no mayo or other sauces-- totally low cal and absolutely delicious! ... ok, I am a picky eater and very specific about what I like - it has made me a very successful (though non-professional) cook, hoping to write a cook book - another thing you can ask my friends! My bf has introduced me to some amazing restaurants in the last several months and some amazing new foods to try ... he has no idea how scared I was to try them, but I am so thankful to him that I did!!!
Are you a romantic?
I consider myself romantic. I hang on every little thing that pleases my man and surprise him with it (my current bf confessed on his b-day that he wished he was as thoughtful as I was, couldn't believe his presents and all my effort) ... I also enjoy candles and roses, surprises at work, dressing nice and/or sexy for my guy, going to the symphony, elegant dinners, intimate times watching movies, snuggling, saying sweet nothings (verbally and in emails and IMs and text massages) to let him know I care, sipping wine and just talking outside at night or on the couch about nothing and random stuff, LOVE snuggling during thunderstorms and at night while we are sleeping in the same bed; no matter how long we have been together-> a real date is always nice, surprise cheesy gifts are a plus, too - it doesn't have to be expensive - just the little things mean so much (like me getting him a copy of beerfest or him giving me this little play on words of a dime-and-ring that I put on a necklace), I also love touching and being touched - a little handhold or knee-grab or side-squeeze when we pass each other while out in a group kind of thing - no need to divert attention or interrupt - just a little - you're-mine/I'm-hot-for-you/you-give-me-the-warm-fuzzies kind of touch, picking good romantic music to go to sleep or make love to ... I could go on, but I think I will stop there ...

one thing you'll learn about me is that I am all about description, instead of just saying "yes, I am romantic" I like to include examples of what I consider romantic ... just like beauty or handsomeness, everyone has their own ideas of what something abstract like that is ... I also tend to use a lot of analogies when I am trying to explain my point of view on things

I also have an insatiable brain ... I totally get a bug to try something new, talk to strangers, and meet new people ... little self-challenges are good, too ... w/o that I tend to lose a little spark of myself and feel bored and lose all my life-momentum ... boredom=bad ...

and I MUST work-out/be active ... when ever I get lazy, I get down and don't dress as sexy and stuff and have lower energy ... all it takes is two weeks back exercising and the difference is night and day!

QOTD

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 16:04:47 GMT

Trust everyone.
It's not like you have any really important secrets.